When the Problem Is You (and that’s a good thing)

Sometimes it’s hard to believe in yourself, but that’s when you need it most.

When I was very young, learning simple things and relating everything to my life, I heard a new term called ‘Stress Management’. Slowly I understood that it is one of the most important aspects in everyone’s life.  As per to my logic, we manage things which are precious to us; we manage family, money, business, property. Why would anybody possibly manage stress? I couldn’t figure it out for some time. Then I realised that people have concluded that stress is an extra limb they have in their body, an appendix that they cannot get rid of.

Think about this for 2 minutes. Is stress an internal condition or an external condition? Give an honest answer to your own self. Don’t try to remember what you probably have read somewhere else or somebody told you about it. Listen to your own voice…brilliant!

If you do some honest introspection with yourself, you will find that even if it seems that the problem is out there, it’s not. The problem is within you.

But at the same time, you also need to understand that, stress is not a part of you; you get stressful because you do not know how to handle your mind. You fail to handle this mind, this emotion, this body and this energy. Even laziness does a crucial job of demotivating your consciousness. You are managing such a sophisticated system accidentally. Hence, you being stressful is a natural outcome of such an unconscious living.

Let’s understand stress. Stress is a chemical response (Brain releases ‘cortisol’ i.e. steroid hormone which raises the heart rate, marginalities adrenaline levels and clouds our thinking.) as well as a series of thoughts. Thoughts and emotions intermingle together which causes stress. This intermingling is very complex. Your thoughts create negative emotions and negative emotions create negative thoughts. This creates a downward negative spiral where these two forces create a perfect storm. This storm of shit gets you anxious and stressed out. Stress is a stimulus to something you didn’t want to happen. Handling stress is an art I suppose. You need to master it to attain tranquillity throughout the life. There are few things you need to consider about such situation.

What our mentality has become today says that being a student is stressful. When you don’t find employment, you are stressed. If you get a job, you are even more stressed. If you don’t get married, is stressful. If you get married, stress is inevitable. If you don’t have children makes you stressful; but if you do, makes things more stressful. If you qualify for next level, the next level is stress giving whereas if you don’t qualify at all, you face disappointment and stress. Stress itself is stressful.

Therefore, it is not your responsibility, mistake, job or situation which is stressful. You are facing stress because of your inability to manage your own system. Not knowing how to manage the system is again stressfulness. If things happen the way you want them to, it wouldn’t be stressful. There are effective ways to conquer this issue.

Meditation is a beautiful way to handle one self. Meditation is not something you do, it’s something you become. It’s not an act, it’s a quality. If you want flowers in your garden, you don’t think about the flower first, you think about sunlight, manure, soil and water as well. Similarly, if you want to become meditative and stress free, you need to cultivate your mind, body, emotions and energies to a certain level of maturity that meditation will blossom by itself. It’s not something that one does but something that one becomes by cultivating one’s system. Today according to allopathic system, you understand that health is very much connected to how your chemistry functions. Let’s consider that you ate a piece of bread in the morning, this piece of bread became your body as it got digested. There is certain intelligence and competence within you which can make a piece of bread into a human being. This isn’t any simple phenomenon.

If only you had conscious access to this intelligence, being healthy, being happy and being emotional will be all by choice and not by accident. If you ask the duration for one to meditate is like asking a flower if it gives fragrance throughout the day. It is just like watering the plant in the morning.

Do it for 10 minutes a day in the morning to experience its effect throughout the day. For a week, check your pulses before and after your sitting. You will notice a considerable difference with the same level of daily activity. This indicates that your system is going on an easier pace. That means its working much more efficiently. If you drive your car, at 2,000 rpm, the engine may last 1,00,000 km. If you drive the same engine at 5,000 rpm, it may last for only 50,000 km. So if this can do everything that it wants at an easier pace, it will last longer and would give better performance. Any machine which has low friction within itself, works efficiently naturally produces least amount of stress.

One of the general and major mistakes done is in the response you give to yourself when the question in your mind arises about your own deeds. People always blame the cause over others for the situation they are facing. When you explain yourself that the situation isn’t your cause, you fail to learn and adapt from it. When you project things outside, blame others, you tend to forget your mistake and that is why you fall prey to stress. And these mistakes happen in series without any end and leads to high amount of unbearable stress. Having hopes in yourself is necessary but letting things go makes you irresponsible towards yourself.

Finally, the last and most important aspect is ‘Positivity’. No matter what, if you think you can, you will. If you are facing stress think that it’s something good happening to you. Your body is getting stronger and smile for the change. If you make stress your buddy, your life will lose its foe forever. And the more you share your problems, the more you feel better. Therefore, share your life and one day life will bless you with happiness. Even this has science behind. In my next article, I will explain both these phenomenon scientifically. But now, Smile! ^_^

Go out there each single day of life. Live fully. Love openly. And make a difference. Today.